Here I am at work, if you can call it that. I get paid to take care of one elderly woman. She is very easy most of the time, and even when she is a little work, she is still easy and pleasant. Most of the time, I sit on my fat ass, and watch TV and play online now that I have an ISP for dial-up set up for use here! I am glad, too, because I have some major shit to blog about today! I hope I remember it all! LOL
Anyway, I just finished watching Inside the Actor's Studio, and the guest was none other than the controversial, yet excellent actress, Jane Fonda. Now, Kat and I both love that show, but I have to admit that when I first saw JF was going to be on, I was less than interested and/or excited. So, I really made no point in seeing it the first few times I saw it was on. Today, there was nothing else on TV, so I decided to watch it, and just see what she had to say. I didn't get to see all of it, but I did see most of it.
Now, I am not like a lot of people about JF. I wasn't even aware of her antics in Vietnam until a couple of years ago. So, I never called her Hanoi Jane, or really hated her, like many in our country have. I do understand, however, why people were so mad at her. But, like I always try to remind myself, we do not know the whole story. She is very sorry for what she DID do, and I think she should be forgiven, and we all should move on.
Anyway, while I was watching her on this show, and realizing this woman is much more interesting and complicated than I ever thought, I started to realize I have never seen most of her movies. And then I started to wonder why, and realized that I have harbored a contempt for her for many years! This kind of startled me, and my first thought was that I need to see her movies, as they do chronicle her growth both as an actress, and as a human being.
And then, I started to ponder WHY I had such contempt for her, and basically had boycotted her movies. All of a sudden, it hit me, and I just couldn't help but laugh! See, my real name is Barbara. I always went by Barb, but everyone knew my full name was Barbara. So, among all the other things those evil children tortured me with, namely: Barbie Doll.....hey Barbie, where's Ken?......Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Barbara Ann.......Barbarino (from Welcome Back, Kotter), they ALSO tortured me mercilessly with calling me BARBARELLA incessantly! Well, at first, I didn't know what they were talking about, and then I actually saw the movie.......my jaw dropped, and I was SO offended when I saw the movie and the character JF played that those evil gnomes would call me that! So, I guess, subconsciously, I swore I would never watch another of her movies. And, I never have that I can remember! (I am SERIOUSLY rolling my eyes at myself!)
I just could never take her seriously after that! Well, today, watching her on that show, I really had no choice but to take her seriously. She is an intensely DEEP, and spiritual person, and most interesting! If you ever get the chance to see the show, I would urge you to watch it! She is touching, and real, and she moved my heart.
She also said something that has hit me deeply, and just may have a HUGE impact on my life. She was talking about those of us, including her, that have the overwhelming need to please others constantly. That is a HUGE problem of mine! She said that need has to do with the corresponding need for perfection, which I believe is also connected to the need to control all events around us. But it was her next comment that rocked my world. I don't know if I will remember it exactly, but the essence of it was that in the midst of all of this striving for perfection and the resulting stress, she all of a sudden realized that there is not truly a need for perfection in this life.....only completion!
HOLYFUCKME BATMAN! What a concept! I can't even wrap my mind completely around it yet, but that comment just may help me change my life! Perfection is unattainable. Completion is not only do-able, but I believe necessary!This is something I definitely need to ponder and ruminate on for a while. If I get any new revelations about this, I will definitely share them!
So, another lesson learned. Sometimes doing something I don't want to do, or watching something I don't want to watch, or listening to something I don't want to hear, can result in a possibly life changing experience at best, and at worst, I might waste a little time. In the big scope of things, I think I would rather waste some time, than take the chance of missing out on an opportunity to find something to help me be a better me.
And that's about enough out of me for now....
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