Taking the Plunge

I admit it. I have finally caved in, and am finally joining the blogging craze. As usual, the late joiner. That's ok with me, though. I like it that way. So, I am indeed taking the blogging plunge. Up until real recently, I had NO desire to blog......EVER. My whole life I have tried and tried to journal both on paper and on the computer, to no avail. I hate it. It is too much work to try to keep up on it, and honestly, the enormity of the shit in my head tends to overwhelm me, and I just can't deal with trying to get it all out. It feels like trying to force a big bunch of thick, gritty mud through the smallest opening. It is just too much, so I do my usual thing. Avoidance. You will soon find that avoidance is one of the negative recurring themes in my life.
Oh, and speaking of gritty, I may as well issue a warning about this blog right now before I go any further. I cuss. A lot. Both online and in real life. I am not going to change to suit any readers of this blog. If profanity offends you, please don't read on, because there will more than likely be times when I will make a sailor look tame!
But I digress. I was talking about my aversion to blogging and journaling, etc. Lately, especially the last few days, I have been getting more and more of an urge to start a blog. The reason for that is simple. My girlfriend has a couple of blogs. Her main one is HILARIOUS! She just makes me laugh out loud! I often have choking fits from all the laughing while reading her blog. Well, through her, I have met a couple of other blogger's blogs! All equally hilarious! So, I would get jealous, and want to be as funny and entertaining as them in my own blog. But, alas, I know that could never happen, because while I can appreciate their humour and the way they see things, to have that come from me just really isn't possible. Not that I am humourless. Far from it. But, my humour tends to be much milder. I am a VERY serious person. Yes, sometimes a little TOO serious, but, I really don't mind being that way. Not that I am boring, either. There will be humour in this blog......but not NEAR as much or as raucous of humour as the others I mentioned.
So, why did I finally decide to blog? Well, simple really. Um, no, not simple.....anyway.....interspersed in the best of these hilarious blogs are some of the most touching and thought provoking moments of introspection and growth, etc that I have ever seen. These very funny people CAN get serious on occasion. And when they do, watch out! It probably means I am going to be challenged to grow and it probably isn't going to be real pleasant. Such is what happened earlier tonight. I was reading Kim's blog, and she had a very serious and somewhat sad post. It made me ache, and really brought home what has been happening to me while reading blogs these last few days. My head has been getting so inundated with thoughts and such, that I am finding it hard to function! So, I guess I will start a blog. That seems to be the way to go. I just need to remind myself that I don't need to put a bunch of pressure on myself to make it just so. I just need to be me, in all my very flawed humanity. There are no rules here. Only possibilities. If I remember that, maybe I won't get so overwhelmed!
Speaking of which, I am starting to feel overwhelmed so I am going to quit for now.