In a post a few days ago, I said I was a comment whore. It's true. I am. Rather, I was. I have been cured. So very cured. I had an incident over the weekend that got me really thinking about comments. Not just comments on my blog, but really, any comments anytime. I can no longer allow myself and my self esteem to be overly bolstered by supportive comments from friends and family and the like; UNLESS I have managed to tell them the absolute, no holds barred truth of any given story or event. If I have not revealed ALL the details, even the ones that portray me in a not-so-pleasant light, then the people who are making the comments cannot possibly be objective, which in turn, makes their comments extremely subjective.
Maybe this is elementary for some people, but for me, it is a revelation. Over this last weekend, I watched a situation get WAY out of control simply because one of the participants while relating the original incident on her blog, was not completely forthright. No, she didn't outright lie, as I first surmised in my anger, but she didn't tell the whole truth, at first. But then, even when she did, people are STILL almost midweek jumping on the bandwagon and badmouthing other participants in the original incident. It is like they cannot hear her correction for being outraged at the original post. And the most ridiculous part of it, is that they are all so self-righteous and she is being bolstered by their support, and their attacks on the other participants, that not one of them can see how far off base they are. It is really rather sad. Being all indignant and they don't even have the story right.
So, if it makes any sense, that is why, unless I can tell the WHOLE story of an incident, and really, we are probably only talking about the hard things and problems that come up, then I can't really allow myself to be emboldened by other people's comments, because unless they the know the whole story, preferably from both points of view, any uplifting I derive from those comments has a false foundation and therefore, will fall, eventually.
So, it is now becoming my goal, along with all the other changing I am trying to accomplish in my life, to try to achieve a deeper honesty and integrity, so that I can enjoy a firm foundation of support from the people who love me and care about me.
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7 comments:
Comments are nice if you're like me, because it shows that people are not necessarily RELATING to what I'm writing, but they are understanding the feeling that you're trying to convey as you write.
And I know this sounds super-snoopy and fairly nosy, but which incident would you be talking about? I hate to admit my interest is piqued (i have no life) but.....
Excellent post, & goal.. to live your authentic life.
We should all 'walk our talk'.. good for you!
it's good to see that you can walk the walk....but be sure it's only on Tuesday's, at 4pm and if you are in Germany!!
I don't care what people comment, I just love the thought that peole read my blog!
Take care
Great post and a great goal to try to acheive total honesty.
One thing I've learned from the internet is that people easily get their feelings hurt, and are oh so ready to jump on a bandwagon. It's the frigging internet folks. Take what you hear (err read) with a grain of salt. You can't hear speach or see expressions when reading so be careful not to add your own emotions in and assume you know what is going on.
However it is good to try to uplifted by comments, your friends are there to help lift you up so try to take away as much positive as you can from comments, with the same advice as being careful not to add your own emotions to what you think is being said. If you have questions as to what someone meant, positive or not so positive go ask them...works best for me.
Hugs
Thank you all so much for the great comments! LOL I think I will have more on this subject in the future, but I need to let it ferment in my brain for a little while! And oops! *tucks my class back in*
I really hate it when people act all crazy and start internet wars with each other. Yuck.
One the other hand I love both giving and receiving encouraging comments.
I used to tell my kids that before they opened their mouths to make a comment to someone they should ask themselves two questions: First, is it kind? And second, is it necessary?
Way to go Butchy!
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