Isn't it Ironic?

When I was in school, I was always kind of the oddball out. I fit in everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. Part of that was my budding, but duly repressed sexuality. I never dated. I kind of half-heartedly tried to get laid a couple of times. I just could never go through with it. So, resigned myself to going to the occasional dance with guys that were friends only. You might think the problem was that I found myself attracted to girls. But, no, you would be wrong. My repression was so successful, that I was not attracted to girls OR guys.

High school was a very confusing time for me. You know how it is. All those cliques. Again, I fit in them all, and none of them all at the same time. And my journey through high school was very interesting because of it. If I had continued on the path I started in my freshman year, I would probably be in jail right now. I spent most of the year in in-house detention, spent a good portion of the year drunk or high or both, and ended the year with a 1.9 GPA.

My sophomore year began much the same way, until I pulled my head out of my ass, took a deep breath, and realized I was ruining my life. So, I quit the weed, I limited any drinking to weekends only, and started to really knuckle down. I took extra classes and really kept my nose to the grindstone, and between the rest of that year and my junior year, which I spent much the same way, I got caught up with credits and such, and could relax a little bit.

I also decided that senior year was going to be MY year. I got involved in all kinds of things. Being a fairly shy person in new settings, I surprised myself by entering the talent show; by myself. (Most everybody else was in pairs or groups.) I easily could have made a fool of myself, but I didn't care. As it turns out, I didn't win the contest, but I did win some popularity and acclaim for being "brave". I also tried out for, and made the big musical. No, my parts weren't huge, because I was also playing in the band. (yes, I was a band geek.) But, again, I had a blast!

The other thing I had decided I was going to do was "be normal" and go to my senior prom if it killed me. There were several obstacles to this, but for this story, I am going to focus on only one. The first hurdle; having someone to go with.

I knew I was not going to be asked. So, that left me with doing the asking. I knew I didn't want to be rejected, so I decided to ask a guy I was friends with in the band, and that I had known for a long time. Since grade school, really. He was a freshman. So, my chances were good that he would say yes, as it was quite the status symbol to be going to the senior prom as a freshman, even if I WAS fat and not exactly pretty.

So, I endeavored to ask him. His name was John Stewart. One day, in the middle of the biggest hall there, I saw him, and went to where he was. I was terribly nervous. We kind of chit-chatted for a little while and then I started hemming and hawing;

Me: Well, (ahem) there was something I wanted to ask you, John.

John: Ok, go ahead.

Me: Well, you know how I am a senior, right?

John: Duh! And I am freshman, so what?

Me: Well, (ahem) (cough cough) the senior prom is only a couple of months away now, and uh (choke) (ahem) (cough cough) I was wondering if you would be interested in going with me, just as friends, of course. (By now, my face was CRIMSON! And I really wanted to die!)

John: (With a really, really strange look on his face) Well, I truly didn't expect that.

Me: (Melting into an embarrassed, quivering, pile of nerves.) Um, (ahem) yeah, well, I understand, I'm just going to go die now! ( I start to slink away)

John: NO WAIT! You just took me off guard a little bit, that's all. Yes, I would LOVE to go to the senior prom with you. (By the way, he knew how badly I wanted to go and just be "normal" for once) I do have one condition, though. (And here, he got the most mischievous grin on his face.)

Me: Ok, what is it?

John: (Looking like a pure devil) You have to promise me one thing.

Me: (Looking truly terrified) Okkkkkkk.........

John: (I swear devil horns came out of his head at this point) You have to promise to NEVER! EVER! EVER! WHITEWASH ME AGAIN!

Me: (Completely confused and bewildered, staring at him with my mouth wide open, realization dawning in my clouded brain of forgotten times.) OH......MY......GOD!!!!!! I had completely forgotten!!!!

John: (Smugly) I didn't, and I have been waiting for the perfect time to needle you with it, and finally it presented itself.

Me: (Thoroughly embarrassed and humiliated, and sounding very sheepish) John, I am so sorry. Of course, I will never whitewash you again. (Hanging my head)

John: (Laughing his head off now) I knew you had forgotten! (Hugs me spontaneously) Don't feel too bad. We were just kids who did stupid things all the time, that later we tend to regret, but let me tell you, the look on your face was worth every red mark on my face from that snow! So, since I have your promise, yes, I would be more than honoured to go to the prom with you.